Wow.

Teaching is a roller coaster. Well, I don't like that metaphor very much. Teaching is (I have now been staring at my screen for 3 minutes trying to think of a more evocative metaphor, and I, apparently, cannot. So...) a roller coaster.

One class is great. The next stinks. The next gets even worse. Then it gets good again. Can you see my roller coaster. I've given you some great imagery here....

One rough day, recently, I had to send out an e-mail in order to prevent some unrest. I thought I was doing the right thing, but an e-mail came into my inbox that made me want to cry. It basically said that I was horrible at my job and suggested I find a new career. Ain't that lovely?

I can't even really describe how I felt after I read it. Sort of a combination between being hit in the face and rising to immediate rage and being told I wasn't good enough to make the baseball team.

Sometimes I really wonder if people have any regard for others. I have been working really hard because I want to change the way these kids see and interpret the world, and this both makes me want to keep doing it so they don't turn out to be someone who would do that sort of thing and simultaneously throw my hands up in the air and say screw it.

As long as I have this metaphor going about roller coasters.... maybe I'll just throw my hands up and try to enjoy the ride. I can learn to ignore what needs to be ignored and still work hard to make sure these kids get off to a good start.

I can tell you one thing. I'm glad I've learned how to use restraint. Restraint. Get it? Like on a roller coaster. Like I'm wearing a bar over my lap. Man, this roller coaster thing sure is paying off!

I Think Nickelback Said It Best

It's been awhile!

To all of you loyal followers..........I mean to all 4 of you who occasionally read this blog because I posted something about it on facebook, or your video is loading and you're bored, or you are pooping with your ipad. Thanks to those people for sticking with me during this long absence.

I have been so incredibly busy with school I feel like sometimes I can't breathe. There is so much to do. Prepping for 4 different classes over 6 periods, 150 kids, grading, tutorials, pep rallies, meetings, conferences, parent phone calls, and now directing and designing the school play.

The crazy part is that I actually really still like it. I'm exhausted and annoyed and frustrated and exhausted again, but I really do enjoy it. I find myself laughing throughout the day more than I want to pull my hair out.

The thing that has kept me going the most is actually the thing that is driving me crazy. This play.

I had an idea last summer to uses some of my connections in New York to give these kids an incredible opportunity that I'm fairly certain most kids never get to experience. I decided to have Anna, a playwright friend of mine, create an original show just for my students. So my kids get to be the first people EVER to perform this play! How cool is that?!

When I see how excited and grateful they are for this opportunity, I can't help but feel guilty for being annoyed or overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to put the show together. I get down or scared because I am doing the work of a dozen people just for the play on top of all the work for school, but every time I hear them talking about the play or wanting to call and thank Anna for the opportunity, I realize how incredibly worth it this is.

So here is to being incredibly over-worked, over-tired, and overwhelmed! Because damn if it is not so amazingly worth it.

Here is where I would write an incredibly cheesy line about "actually making a real difference," but I'd rather write a joke I think is funny. You know, at least I'll still be cheesy.

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop. He looks at the guy behind the counter and says, "Can you make me one with everything?"

Cheshire

Middle schoolers are weird. I saw a kid 4 times today. Once in 4th period, once after lunch, once before 6th period, and in 7th period.

Every time I saw him he had drawn more cat features on his face. First whiskers, then a nose, then darker whiskers, then eyes.

Why......?


I don't have anything else to say. Kids are weird. And maybe kinda awesome.

Was that inappropriate?

This kid in my tech class was goofing off. He has a tendency to do so. On this particular occasion, he had grabbed a stack of about ten rulers and stacked them up. He then placed the rulers on his crotch and was walking around "showing off" to everyone. The following was our conversation. Names have been changed to protect the moronic.

Me: John, what are you doing
John: Nothin'
Me: Put those down for two reasons. One, it's disgusting.
John: Ok.
Me: Two, it's completely unrealistic.

Was that too far? I hope that I judge my students well enough to know who can take a joke and who can't, but as soon as I said it, I got scared that I was going to get a phone call from a parent. Luckily, I didn't.

I'm glad some kids can take a joke!

Sometimes teaching is hard...

Above and Beyond

My Theatre 1 class just finished up their pantomime performances. For the most part this whole process has been about what I expected. Kids not wanting to rehearse and thinking they're ready to perform when they don't have anything practiced nearly enough.

One of my students, though, did something I find amazing! He went home the other night and spent his time making a model of their "setting" out of Legos so that he and his castmates had a better understanding of "where they were" in the pantomime. That is so cool! Not just cause I'm jealous that he got to play with Legos, either!

It's just really awesome to see a student take initiative like that and have a real interest in what they are working on. It was a very happy moment for me!

Are You Listening?

I don't know if it's me not teaching the material well or if my 4th period kids are just choosing not to listen. Yesterday I handed out a packet. On the front page were the procedures. I went over every single step, had the kids read some out loud, and repeated pretty much every step twice.....

NINE times. NINE TIMES students asked me what they were supposed to be doing! NINE! NINE DIFFERENT STUDENTS!

We were doing a project where they had to design a table or a chair. Part of the instructions were, "You and a partner will choose to design a table OR a chair. So choose a table OR a chair, whichever you and your partner like, and each partner will design three. You will then decide which design is best."

"Mr. Feldman!?! We have to design a chair AND a table????"
"Mr. Feldman?!?! I draw a table and my partner draws a chair???"
"What are we doing"

I then stopped the class. I said to everyone, "Guys, pick a table OR a chair. If you pick a chair, you and your partner each design three chairs. But remember, we aren't going to start sketching until we've finished our design briefs, done our brainstorming, and then researched." This was not a new concept. They have been learning this process for 3 days now.

I walk around the room and see at least ten kids sketching. I stop the room again. "Class, once again,.....

Oh. Also. The kids have all the instructions on the front page of their packets. Every single step. In order. Under "Procedures." Ya know, the ones we went over together.

Am I wrong in assuming that a student should listen to the instructions the first time I give them? Am I wrong in assuming that they should be able to find the instructions if I hand them a list? This is the only class I have this problem in. I feel like I'm doing the same thing in there that I am in all my other classes. I really don't get it. Maybe I should give them an m&m every time they listen to instructions the first time. Ya know, like 3 year olds. I hope not to have to resort to that.

Antomime

I have a new strategy for 7th period. I had been writing the word "Theatre" on the board and erasing a letter every time they broke a rule. If they lost all their letters, they had to do book work.

It....kinda worked. They were a little better, but it was still a problem. They had the books out on the second day.

Today, I changed the plan. We are doing a unit on pantomime right now. I wrote the word "Pantomime" on the board, and instead of having one day to keep all their letters they have to keep it for a WEEK. If they lose all their letters, they will be learning about pantomime from the book. I think it might actually work.

I also told them that if they follow all the rules for a good chunk of time (I have to make that more concrete now that I think about it), they could earn a lost letter back.

One day and only one letter gone. So we've gone from losing seven in one day to only losing one.

Hopefully we can keep our "antomime" on the board!

Labor Day Pains

Today is....Tuesday. That is a fact. However, my head kept telling me today was Monday. I am supposed to wear my "spirit wear" on Tuesdays. I, again, thought it was Monday. I was the only teacher at school today who was not wearing a school shirt. That is embarrassing. I am suppose to have a study hall 3rd period on Tuesday. I am also supposed to know it's not Monday. I taught a lesson instead of study hall. Every other sixth grader had time to do their work. I gave them more to do.

I was completely off all day. Pretty darn ridiculous if you ask me.

That One Awesome Class

My first period is amazing. I have 17 kids in that class. Good start already! Every single one of them comes in to class with a great attitude, they all try hard, and they all contribute. Yes, they goof occasionally, but I could not ask for a better class. Especially for a Theatre 1 class.

This job is hard. Not because it's difficult to teach the material or manage the class, but because I feel like every second counts. It is so nice to have a class that lets me relax and have fun while still accomplishing what I want to accomplish.

I have other good classes, but they are great! I'm really lucky!

Trouble

I know it happens to everyone, but when you get your first trouble student, its really hard to deal with. It's a constant battle between wanting to do your best for the kid and inspire them to learn and wanting them out of your class because of the constant disruption.

This one student is capable of ruining your lesson for everyone so is it worth it to have them in your room? I want to say "yes." I want to say I'll go all Dead Poets Society on him and change his educational life forever. I also want to say "get him the hell out of my room."

I know its only week two, but its hard to have that kind of influence in your room. It also doesn't help that when I ask other teachers how they've dealt with him in the past they give me a solemn glance, pat me on the shoulder, and say that they've tried everything and nothing has worked.

I'm doing my best to figure out how to fix the problem, but I doubt I'll have him standing on the desk shouting "O' Captain my Captain" this year.

To Tangent or Not to Tangent?

Something I'm learning as a teacher is that a good deal of the time when a student raises his/her hand, something comes out that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the topic of conversation. It's gotten to the point that with one of my students, I've started using the phrase, "Is this relevant?" before I let her answer questions.

Now I know I should be there to allow their creativity to flow, and a big part of their job as students is to learn how to express themselves and their ideas. However, a girl in my class that has to tell me she "got Mexican stickers today" or the kid who says "power bracelets really do work cause that guy at the mall tried to push me over when I was wearing it and he couldn't" is not really a part of my lesson plan. We have a lot to accomplish in 50 minutes, and I'm not sure that it's vital that we all find out that "the lifespan of a clone is shorter than the thing its cloned from."

When do I let the non-sequiturs in and when do I stop them? Sometimes its nice to take a break from teaching to listen to this stuff, but I mostly don't want to spend our time learning that a kid's "Spanish name" is "Pablo Pepper."

The 7th Period Conundrum

The whole day has been going well. First period was gracious and quiet for the simple and fun day in class. My 6th graders actually used their time to do their homework like they were supposed to. Both my engineering classes had working technology (finally), and everyone sat quietly and worked on their projects. The Advanced Theatre class had good questions and spent their time wisely as they looked for new pieces to work on. Then came 7th period...

I remember 7th period on Fridays in school. Unless it was a class I loved I was just ready to leave, and sometimes even if I loved the class, I still wanted out. Those feelings have clearly carried on in the minds of students into the year 2011. It's only natural. You've sat in the school for 40 some odd hours this week, and you are tired of it. The magic of the weekend is nearly at your fingertips so you start to act like a caged monkey. My guess is that if 7th period, yesterday, had lasted twenty minutes longer, the kids probably would have started throwing their poo.

As a teacher, though, how do you reconcile those completely natural actions with the fact that those kids still really need to do what you have planned and get something from it? My best attempt, yesterday, was to play fun theatre games that they could learn something from without knowing it. My best attempt, yesterday, failed.

Maybe next Friday I should bring in some bananas.

Ugh.

This has been the longest, shortest week of my life....Ex-haus-ted.

Technology: Friend or Foe?

My experience with school technology thus far is as follows:

Day 1: I need to get my curriculum off the computer. The computer doesn't turn on.

Day 2: The computer works! Now I need to show a short movie in class. The projector only projects 1/4 of the screen.

Day 3: Projector works! Time to do a project where the students do research on the internet. None of the students know their usernames or passwords.

I assume by sometime in November everything will be working.

That being said, our CTA (campus tech....something) has been amazing! Those people do some amazing things and should get more credit!

Blur

Day 2. Come and gone already. Maybe it's a combination of less sleep, more work, talking kids, and the fear that I'm not doing a good job, but I can't remember anything that happened today.

My memories of today in list form:

1st period - A student made a comment about watching Pawn Stars before class started. I liked that.
2nd period - I sat at my computer doing.....some kind of work.
3rd period - Nine kids asked to go to the bathroom.
4th period - The projector didn't work right.
5th period - I fixed the projector.
6th period - I don't really remember anything. I do know that I really like those kids.
7th period - It was 3 hours ago, and I've got nothing.

The nice thing about it is that I have this feeling that, overall, today was very successful! I guess it doesn't really matter all that much if I can't remember much, as long as the kids remember what I said.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I just remembered something! Middle schoolers are AWFUL at cheating!

I gave a pre-test today just to find out what they already knew about Theatre. Under normal circumstances I would have them turn in their tests when they finished, but since it wasn't for a grade, I just waited until everyone finished and then gathered the pre-test from their tables.

One of the questions was "Name 3 of Shakespeare's plays." As I was looking through them to see how they did, I got back 4 tests in a row that said, "1. Romeo and Juliet 2. Hamlet 3. Odesia"

ODESIA! What?!?! Even if you don't know Shakespeare, ODESIA??? And to have 4 kids at a table write it? I have to have a little talk with them.

The title

I guess I should explain my title. I'm a theatre teacher. Well, I'm a theatre teacher who also teaches an engineering course. Well, I'm a first-year theatre teacher who also teaches an engineering course.

Anyway, its hard to really feel like a teacher, yet, even though I am. I look up and down the halls and feel like I'm not old enough to be in charge. I work hard, though. I'm as prepared as I think I can be. It just sometimes feels like I haven't been officially sworn in to the world of teaching. I half expect someone to walk through the door and say, "Ok, thanks for keepin' an eye on them for me. Have a good one."

I am a teacher though. My badge says so.

Even though I still don't feel like a full-fledged teacher, I am trying my best to make my classes a worthwhile place for these kids. Hence "Acting Like a Teacher or Doing My Best To Make A Difference In My First Year."

First Day

Wow. Sitting here thinking about my first day as a real teacher, I can't believe the day is over already. I can't believe I believe that; I was at school from 7:45 til 6, and I didn't have time to eat lunch. It's absolutely amazing how much a teacher has to do. I have a feeling it will get easier actually. I just want to get ahead now before I can't catch up. I did get a 5 dollar gift card to Starbucks though!

Also, I would like to take this time to officially apologize to all my teachers. I'm sorry I wouldn't stop talking, and I'm sorry I made very loud sarcastic comments in class (even though most of them were actually pretty funny).